Even though life still feels extremely chaotic and I feel the pain of loss everyday... I know I have a fresh start and this is where I have chosen to make it. With these girls in this house. The former has made his way into my life multiple times this week and he has ravaged me... turned me upside down.
I am still madly in love with him, but he needs help and I am probably the only person that can not help him. It hurts so much, I want to ensure his safety and success through this life but he has become so self destructive, I figure my best bet is to just get out of his way.
This move has been physically exhausting and extremely theraputic. To unpack boxes that I haven't seen in years and cry over memories that hadn't been remembered in years.
I loved my life.
I hate that it can't go the way that I planned or had hoped it would go... it riddles me with confusion and anger. However, I know that there is so much more for me. I think part of me is a little scared of the world holds for me now that I am unhindered, no longer living under the abuse of the former. I have hope.
What I really need is a little more hope for this giant pile of clothes!! Anyone want to help me organize my collection of treasures??
Don't worry mom, when the paint dried you couldn't see the writing!
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