It has officially been one year.

Saying that aloud, makes me want to vomit.

Literally.

I have been hugging the toilet for the last 18 hours.

Sick.

As.

A.

Dog.

and just plain sad.

I can't believe 52 weeks ago today I packed up my belongings, while my husband sat on the couch watching television, and loaded them into the Winnebago. The worst part about today is that I can't remember why I left, I cant remember it ever being bad, I cant remember the verbal abuse, the mind games, the lying, the constant chase for his approval or attention, I can't remember him not wanting me there, or treating me like shit. I know it happened but I just miss him so much.

I know we aren't supposed to compare pain, but I think would rather be a widow, than divorced. I am not sure I will ever be able to fully wrap my head around the amount of betrayal and rejection I feel.

Divorce is for the birds.

a whole year.